Ladies, Ladies, Ladies... Let me let you in on a little secret that I've recently put to the test. Ever wondered why the bad girls always get the guys? Well it came to my attention that not every guy is a bad guy. Some men become jerks because they've been hurt by someone they love (which is bad but understandable) but here is another way that a man becomes a jerk and let me say ladies the blame is put on you!!!
When you first meet someone you don't want to give a bad impression so you show him your nice girl side, some women pretend to be all nice while others are normally as nice as they appear to be. Ok?? So where is the problem??? Now let me start off by saying I am not advising anyone to be a Bitch "in no way at all". What I want to say is that we need to be more careful. Some men feed off of the vibe you give. If you stroke their ego too much it begins to get to their heads. Then they begin to think that they have something over you. See if you make things easier for the man, then that only shows that they don't need to try to empress you. NO NO NO!!! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! We as women need to give ourselves the respect that we deserve because let me be the one to say that if a man loses respect towards you from the start, odds are you will not get it back. Not calling men dogs (not saying that some aren't either) but lets just use a dog as an example. If we don't train them to do their business outside from the start, odds are that dog may never learn and your house will always be a porta potty. Same rules apply to men, if you let him believe that you need and want him GGGGGIIIIRRRLLLL you done blew his head up.
How do you know your stroking his ego? Well for starters, do you call or text him more than he calls or texts you? If you don't reach out to him, does he reach to you? Do you complement him on the daily knowing dang well that he doesn't complement you? Are you the only one to suggest to hang out? A man can want all theses things but since they think they got it like that, odds are you just made a prick out of him. As ironic as it may sound, a lot of times a man that is insecure about himself will be the first one to get his head gassed up the second a woman begins to stroke is ego. This man wants to see you, but lets face it ladies, we know how good it feels to be desired, in fact we the women created attention. But some how down the line we passed the urge of feeling wanted down to the men.
Now you see ladies' we are beautiful, no matter what we look like we are all gorgeous and we deserve to get treated like queens. A queen is meant to stand side by side to her king not at his feet bowing down. We are in 2016, what you give is what you shall receive. If your voice isn't being heard, If you have to continue to suggest to be seen, you are doing something wrong. Most of the time we begin to analyze the situation poorly, and that's where the self-esteem issues come in. Its not that he isn't into you its that you made this man feel like he can over power you and that makes him feel amazing. His ego and pride just upgraded to the maximum level of stupidity. You keep feeding him things to talk about with his boys. Now we all know when men gets together, they ain't men no more, NOPE... Now we are dealing with a group of imbeciles who are gathered in a circle debating who has the bigger penis. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that these men are bad because they are not, just very selfish, delusional and airheaded. They think they win an award for being a jerk but uhhhh.... NOPE! Unless the homies are planning on giving up the goods, they need to learn how to respect their woman. " Never treat a woman the way you don't want anyone treating your daughter, sister, or mother." Ladies if you have to write that quote in every room, door, mirror, or wall in ur house as a reminder to him, please do!! In fact put it as you signature for your text messages, that way every time you text him he would be reminded of that quote!!
Many of us don't know the value that we should have because no one ever shown us. Some people taught us that romance has died. No it hasn't, the only thing that has died is the effort. Earlier I had mentioned that I wasn't advising anyone to be a bitch because that would be very hypocritical for me. What I want you to do is know your value. Stand up tall because your are amazing, you are beautiful. Without women there would be no men. We birth them, raise them, and when they are all grown up we pass them along to their wife that now holds the responsibility of making sure he can make it through his day in one piece. We need to love are men and have hell of a lot of patience with them, as they need to have with us. But how can we get it to be 50/50 if we allowed them to believe that they can over rule us and its ok. Romance isn't dead ladies!!! Speak up!! You wanna know if this man respects you? Do you want to calculate your value to him? Make him open the door for you! Don't you dare get in that car unless that man walks around and opens it for you. Its not being bougie, its letting him know that you are a lady and you will be respected. If and when he does, make sure that you have the decency to say thank you to him and unlock his door if its not yet already unlocked. The same way that you demand respect is the same way that you return the respect. Nothing more nor anything less. If he has an issue with opening the car door for you and starts to say thing like you are stuck up, conceited, or bougie.... Girl walk away!!! 1. This man doesn't respect you or see you as a lady. 2. his ego and pride is set on maximum, and 3. he may not like you the way that you deserve to be liked. I wont lie there is a BIG chance that I just cocked blocked and you will be getting left behind but wouldn't you want to know from the start if this man is capable of respecting your value?
What do you do if you are already in this situation? First you would need to give him a fair chance to fix his mistake before cutting him off. Most of your friends would advice you to leave him alone but what if he really does likes you but is just acting up? STOP texting him, STOP calling him, and STOP trying to see him. If he likes you he will notice your absence and he will look for you. Now keep in mind that it takes a man a while to figure out what is going on, you can tell him 100 times, draw him a picture, and even have a whole power point presentation for him but that man still wont get it. So just give him some time. Here's your warning; you may not hear from him the first day. You actually may not hear from him for a few day. Remember the goal is to get him to come to you. So ladies hold your grounds, this is going to be hard but what ever you do DO NOT under any circumstances look for him. Wait for him to come to you and if that's hard for you to do, then delete all of his contacts so that there is no way possible for you to reach out to him. He may not text you right away but he will and when he does you are going to reply like everything is normal. Then when the conversation is over you start all over again. Just because he looked for you once doesn't mean he gets the point yet. Remember you have to have patience with men. If this man really likes you he will wake up from is ego high and start to look for you more. When you see that he does make sure you save his number again it is now safe to text him again. Don't by any chance start a commotion about this. If he ask you why you been so distance, simply tell him that you felt as if you were suffocating him or that he wasn't into you, so you pulled away to give him his space. At this point he should get the concept and yall could try starting over but this time both showing effort. In the event that he doesn't look for you and you never hear from him again, well at least now you know he wasn't for you. But guess what??? That time you spent waiting on him to look for you was actually an exercise. You was mentally training yourself to get use to bring without him. The way I see it is, that no matter what its a win/win for you.
You don't have to take my advice if it sound crazy to you, but if you don't do anything as of now this man is going to go from bad to worse. You are going to find yourself wasting months even years trying to make this man see that you have been standing in front of him this whole time. You can give this man your world and then some but he still wont care. If you continue to allow a man to disrespect you or treat you like you are no body, odds are he's going to make it a habit. He will go from being an airhead just trying to impress his friends, to it being his personality. Save yourself and save this man who is simply hyped off the high of pride. Show him that he doesn't have to be a jerk to keep a good woman around, that if you are there standing by him is because you see through his stubbornness and know in your heart that he is a great man that is simply misunderstanding the concept of dating, or even love. Just don't be that fool to play super woman and stick around hoping you can save him, save yourself before trying to save anyone else.
NOTE TO READERS:
I know that this blog is more towards the women, I want you to keep in mind that my intentions wasn't to offend the man and I am aware that this situation can happen Both ways. The reason why this blog is more for the women is because when the tables are turned reasons and feelings change. I will be writing a separate blog about this same situation but when it the man that has to go through this. so look out for that blog.
Also I want to point out that one of my major point of the blog is that things need to be 50/50. Never belittle yourself for anyone nor think your higher than them. You may need to find away to get their attention but never fight fire with fire. Don't do to someone what you don't want being done to you. Find a way to make it work or let it go.
Thank you so much for reading and feel free to leave any comments, feedbacks, or questions!
also if you would like advice or want to know my opinion on something, leave it in the comment box and I will get to it as soon as possible!
Cici's Point
The Stroke of the ego (A Blog for her)
By: Carmen Santiago
